Different is not Wrong

Both in my practice and in life outside of work I have been around a number of people suffering from grief over the past few weeks. Every one of these people has been dealing with it differently. None of these ways of dealing with it are wrong, though some have said, “I shouldn’t be feeling that.” or similar words.


Just as every massage practitioner has a different routine when doing a full body massage, some are more similar than others but being different does not as long as the routine is safe and hangs together and most importantly, works for the client, none are wrong.

Another example is, I know lots of people apart from ourselves who have wood stoves. Every single person seems to have a slightly different way of lighting their stove, yet all work for the stoves in question. Sometimes the differences are down to the differences in the stoves but more often than not they are just personal preference and what works for them.

When I see a client, it is important that I do not judge. However well I know them, I do not know all of their circumstances and judgements even if unspoken will get in the way my doing any therapeutic work with them, be that through my words or through my choice of oils and massage techniques.

I need to accept them as they are. Only in that way will I be able to really help them. Very often, part of that help is reassuring them that they are OK or not abnormal, be that the tension in part of their body or the amount of body hair they have, or and this is probably the most common of all reassuring them that they are not fat!  There is something very wrong with a society that makes those of a normal weight think that they are fat!