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What should I do Next?


“Should” is a word I hear a lot both from clients and from friends. Whenever I speak to someone following a major life event, it seems that they have an expectation that they, “should” be doing something about it.

Most of the time, the reality is that with their world turned upside down, it is too early to be considering what to do next and it makes far more sense to gain some sort of equilibrium again first. There are of course exceptions to this and sometimes crisis is what we need to spur us into action but when the word, “should” appears, it always makes me suspicious that it is what the person in question imagines others think they ought to do.

This is a time when an aromatherapy massage can really help someone to centre themselves. Vetiver, Frankincense of Benzoin are my oils of choice here and during the massage, I am particularly careful never to leave the client hanging. – I have been for a massage myself once where the therapist went over to a table to get some more oil (I think) and didn’t say anything about what they are doing. Indeed, I try and maintain contact with the client with at least one hand virtually the whole time except when I hold the towels for them to turn over half way through.

Massage is not the only thing that can help, counselling, psychotherapy, and exercise all come to mind however the only, “should” that I suggest to both friends and clients is that they find some nice nurturing things to do for themselves. Obviously I would put aromatherapy massage near or at the top of the list of nurturing things but doing anything that is fun even if it feels like a real effort to do this can really help.

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